I envy children; as much as I hate them. Those bratty little hooligans can take a toll on your peace and sanity but that’s the very thing I envy the most. Do what you think is right and no one is going to blame you for it. Kick people where you feel they deserve it and the smile back, pull your cheeks and say, “naughty boy” and wink at your mom. Spit all over the place, pee at will, cry, make noise, run around the house with no conscience nagging you… I was not like that. Now I feel I missed doing what I was licensed to do.
But there is something I can never get over; the sense of fear that they have and the fear we live in (at our age) is poles apart. What do children fear? Nothing! There are a lot of children who fear the darkness or the monster in the closet, they fear their own shadow but for how long? Till the night passes? Or lesser still, till they fall asleep? I sometimes fear sleep itself. Dreadful dreams; work pressure speaking to you in the middle of the night, sometimes gnawing at you even during the day; Bosses, their temper and ego, parents, their temper and ego… even your own temper and ego cross your life and jolt you now and then. I fear silence, I fear loneliness, I fear my future and there is nothing that comes without fear as side dish. I thought growing up was all about learning how to get rid of fear but no one told me there was fine print that read, “get rid of one fear and the other comes free after the first.”
Few find sense in their fear(s); fewer find their answers lying hidden within their fear(s). “Fear does pose questions and finding answers to them is the way to get rid of fear”, is what some philosophers say. Others opine, “When you look through fear, it will vanish by its own virtue. For fear is nothing but a figment of your own imagination.” I feel fear appears like God when its time for you to introspect or set things right for yourself. We keep looking for signs from god when we are dreading something and the solution is lurking within that darkness.
I stand by it: when fear strikes, be prepared to know what’s beyond it. All you need is one bold step towards the battle against your own dark side.
But there is something I can never get over; the sense of fear that they have and the fear we live in (at our age) is poles apart. What do children fear? Nothing! There are a lot of children who fear the darkness or the monster in the closet, they fear their own shadow but for how long? Till the night passes? Or lesser still, till they fall asleep? I sometimes fear sleep itself. Dreadful dreams; work pressure speaking to you in the middle of the night, sometimes gnawing at you even during the day; Bosses, their temper and ego, parents, their temper and ego… even your own temper and ego cross your life and jolt you now and then. I fear silence, I fear loneliness, I fear my future and there is nothing that comes without fear as side dish. I thought growing up was all about learning how to get rid of fear but no one told me there was fine print that read, “get rid of one fear and the other comes free after the first.”
Few find sense in their fear(s); fewer find their answers lying hidden within their fear(s). “Fear does pose questions and finding answers to them is the way to get rid of fear”, is what some philosophers say. Others opine, “When you look through fear, it will vanish by its own virtue. For fear is nothing but a figment of your own imagination.” I feel fear appears like God when its time for you to introspect or set things right for yourself. We keep looking for signs from god when we are dreading something and the solution is lurking within that darkness.
I stand by it: when fear strikes, be prepared to know what’s beyond it. All you need is one bold step towards the battle against your own dark side.
2 comments:
I hate kids.. especially the ones that will run around you in circles and give you a brain-ache.. and the ones that purposely let out blood curdling screams that burst your eardrums.. and the ones that roll on the floor in shopping malls.. hell, i hate them all :P
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