Skeleton in the closet…

It is so much fun to clear the old drawers. I was on a total cleaning spree a day or so ago. I did not spare a spec of dust. All redundant papers were brought to justice. Every ‘un-needed’ reminiscence of painful memoir was removed out of existence. But I stumbled upon this one piece which I had written then. I don’t remember when was ‘then’ but it was in the last year or so. it was a song I wrote, for a band recording, for a “Break Dust” come-back and it was an acoustic wonder. I had conceptualized its music first and then on approval by my colleague, I wrote these lyrics. They are rough and not my best work. I liked the feel of the words simply because it went well with the music. If you do bother reading through this song, DO NOT judge anything about my state of mind from what the lyrics say. I had my share of angst but this is a slightly ‘exaggerated’ version. It was written on this little piece of notepad paper. A 3x5 inch rectangle. All I mean to say is, the piece written was nothing great but just digging it out of its grave and reading it was a pleasure one has to experience to know. The song was never recorded but I guess I shall ask my other music-aficionado buddies to help me do the same. I want to render it, for the sheer joy of vintage value that I associate with this song. Read on… constructive criticism is always welcomed but hey, euphemism is a nice word too! (kidding, go ahead, rip me apart…)

BLAME

They say I lost my sensation,
They found me behind my smile
They asked me why was I in so much pain,
I had been that way for a while.

I cried my eyes dry every night
And climbed the roof-top to laugh,
It felt like I left myself alone,
As one half killed the other half.

But I knew it was not so bad somehow.
I knew it could not be.
I could not have pained you ever,
The only one to be blamed was me.

I saw my dreams drifting away from you,
I lost the smell of your skin,
I could remember no taste of your lips,
Lost our night as the dawn broke in.

I promised myself to stand up again,
No whiskey could ever knock me out.
I will never trust you to take care of my heart again,
Never put myself under doubt.

But I knew it wasn’t so bad somehow.
I knew it just couldn’t be.
I could not have pained you ever,
Cause it wasn’t bout you,
It’s all about me.